A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part III – Awakened by Grief and ascended in love


Awakened by Grief and ascended in love



     I was asked to take part in a writing adventure once again


by Barbara Franken, a wonderful lady with a beautiful blog.  You


can view her inspiring website at:




     I was asked to write about my experiences which affected me and


which awakened and ascended me on my shortstop journey here on


earth. You can read similar stories with the link below which


provide glimpses into the awakening and the ascending process of


other people. There will be a story to read every day in October


on her blog which you can follow with the link:/




Awakened in silence


     There are many events that precipitate one’s journey and its


growth which occurs to evolve one’s consciousness.   I was


painfully shy and kept to myself in silence due to trauma.  One


incident taught me to have confidence in Spirit.  One night, in


particular, I was working and I had finished my duties at three


in the morning.  With no transportation and three miles from home,


I began to walk.  During my walk, I got an eerie feeling I


was going to be murdered.  I looked behind me and a man was


quickly walking towards me.  I was in transition of leaving my


religion and waiting for another movement which would be


compatible with my awakening.  I looked behind me and the


man was getting closer.  I asked Spirit for protection.  I


looked behind me again and the man started to pick up the pace.


When I turned around there was a big dog on my right side.  The


man crossed the street and went into a wooded area.  The dog


followed me to my house.  I went inside to fetch a dog snack


when I came out the dog was gone.  I was left mystified.


Little by little, on my journey, I felt like I was being taken


care of, loved and protected.  In my silence, I was awakened


similar to a dormant seed in darkness ready to germinate and


ascended in silence where things grow.



Awakened by love


     A blissful reunion of souls occurred when I met my partner.


In relationships, every couple has disagreements which are


insignificant.  We had two arguments in the 26 years of being


together but nothing earth shattering whereas it did not harm


our relationship and after the arguments, we belly laughed.


     We spiritually grew together and we were inseparable.  We both


agreed that we were inextricably tied to each other and this bond


preceded our incarnations.  Our ties also bound us to our own


crossovers and beyond.  Perhaps we can be deemed infinity




     Our lives together were spent awakening one another


about world events and we had many incidences which left us in


awe on our spiritual path and these experiences were pivotal to


our spiritual growth.


     My belief and my partner’s belief are everyone ascends in


their own time.  This life or next life etc.  In the ascension or


the awakening process, no one is ahead or behind us.  We are all


on the same journey awakening at our own pace or awakening with


experiences that are before us unwillingly or willingly.  After


all, we are all brothers and sisters.  My partner has awakened


me to a newer sense of loving me and with others in a new way and


vice versa.  My partner taught me that every human has a story


and every life is precious. During this awakening, we became more


sensitive to and a recognition that we are all one. We also


recognized the importance love makes in this world and this love



is a catalyst that changes people. I ascended with more love being


with my partner and I know there will be more ascension experiences


involving love to look forward to.  Love is all there ever was and


love is all there is.


Awakened by Grief


     On March 29, 2016, my world came harshly crumbling down.


My partner suffered a stroke.  I spent eight hours at the


hospital and I wanted a shower and to have a bite to eat.  The


last words I heard was, “I love you and you are the best thing


that has happened to me.”  I returned an hour later and what met


me was my partner who was non-responsive.  My heart sank.  The


prognosis was bleak said the doctor.  They could cut half of his


brain out but there was no guarantee the paralysis would


disappear and my partner could still end up drooling in a care


facility.  I had two tough decisions to make and one was to let


my partner go and the second was to sign an order not to




     The next day there was a feeling of agitation in the room


(I felt this with other crossovers as well.)  as my partner’s


crossover was imminent and this was another birthing process to


the other side.  After the crossover, there was such peace in


the room.  This turned out to be the most painful event on my


journey.  When we die we do ascend – we have no choice?  An


ascension out of the body?  However, it all depends on your




     I was about to embark on my own spiritual birthing process


unknown to me at that time. Many said time heals all wounds.


I did not want to hear this and I wanted to scream at them.


Only two friends said, “I am here for you, I don’t know what


you are going through.  If you want to talk I am here.”


Understanding and compassion were shown.  Two people stayed


by my side constantly and still do.  They are both beings of


light sent to my darkness which I had found myself in.


I had to put my 3 cats up for adoption and one I had to put to


sleep because of health issues.  She was my soul cat and again,


more lost.


I lost my house.  This has taught me that losses are not


permanent.  People departed and pets are always with you in


spirit and material things can be replaced.  If we listen to


signs Spirit is giving us or leading us to a breadcrumb trail


then the caring and the sense of being of being taken care of


is felt.  After two years a switch went off within me and I felt


lighter than I had ever felt.  I knew the grief had lifted and


when I looked back, it had been almost two years of the dark


night of the soul.  I had grown and I can think of my partner


with a smile and soon we will be reunited.  I lost 11 friends


and my sister in the two and a half year since my partner passed.


I miss my partner terribly, also, my friends and my sister.


Grief has awakened me on this journey and when I look back on


every experience, every event, no matter what the circumstances


are, there will always be a spider web of awakening and an


ascension to behold. I now feel joy in my heart.  I enjoy life


again.  I came to know that Grief is a gift and that my


partner’s death was also a gift to me.  I was awakened by grief.


I have evolved Spiritually and there is a Spiritual


maturity in my life.  I knew I had also ascended with love knowing


my partner was with me all along.  When we awaken only then will


we ascend.  Below is a poem I wrote titled, “Grief is a gift”


and another, “I felt your touch.”




Grief is a gift


There is a heart in heart connection.


Please grab onto my soul and don’t let’s go.


Forever I ask from you to stay all the while by my side.


My essence flies with a flutter from you.


We are going on a sojourn of memories when you were walking the




But there is a time when the sky expresses my tears.


And I’m comforted by the cradle of love.


Rocking me into reality.


You left my spirit shattered.


I was a lost sheep wandering aimlessly.


Separation justified my heartache.


Painting itself into my world.


Nothing can stop this journey.


I was so in love.


Our lives burning in the essence,


Of the flame,


We started so long ago.


By the moon’s charming ways.


We were captivated by the pull that lulled our adventure to be




Sorrow is a bridge I traveled upon.


And with time the sunshine made itself present.


The tears dried up and replaced with fondness and with a smile.


But there was light through the darkness.


And again, I walk the road of happiness.


Although the ache in my heart remains,


And softly beats of missing you.


I realize then that Grief had become a gift.



This is another poem I wrote 2 days after my partner’s death


I felt your touch


I felt your touch upon my face.

A hand that is no more.

It was only goosebumps from the other side.

You were the half of my heart that made me whole.

A sanctuary upon a sanctuary, a sanctuary of Eden

As I sensed you in my garden.

My haven you are welcome to visit.

Trying to tell me what it was like in the afterlife.

But secrets kept between us – never – except for this one.

And they keep moving the moon around me all night.

I felt your touch upon my face.

A hand that is no more.

It was only goosebumps from the other side.

Our souls were twined in a mysterious way, a magical way.

Something unique, something to cherish.

I’ve cried all my dry tears and now they tumble wet.

I’m so tired of crying tears of memories.

As I write you a song scribbled on my essence.

One of sorrow, one of pain.

Missing the lips, I kissed goodnight.

And the misery of my soul is where I am lost.

I felt your touch upon my face.

A hand that is no more.

It was only goosebumps from the other side.

The flame still flickers in my heart for my turn to go home.

To frolic in the ether of a new beginning with you.

I fervently wait for this day.

It can’t come soon enough.

The day is unknown to me, another well-kept secret.

Like twinkling stars that are out of reach.

As I also see the twinkling of your life that you had here on earth.

All that matters is when you touch my soul.

As I die a little bit more inside.

I felt your touch upon my face.

A hand that is no more.

It was only goosebumps from the other side.


Please read Jan’s post on awakening and ascension which will be posted October 2, 2018.  Follow this link









Years of madness





Years of madness


I wandered through the darkness digging at my past in a soul’s

breeze of recollection.

From a morning burst, a phrase from my thoughts speaks in a

twilight of broken dreams.

The passion inside drapes itself over a perjury that stumbled

into a heretic’s lexicon.

Prepare at will the claws of voice strings unraveling to become

a veritable noose around your ideas.

While purging the nervousness of comfort which sinks into the

song of peeling humanity’s skin back to the beginning while

watching the universe perspire.

Now we teeter on the justice scale entering the reverie in the

web of insanity foretold.

The clouds shed away the red moon drip and covered the sackcloth

sun, a sky yelling and hollering of predictions that have


Pretension is the face of the new red waiting by the river of

shadow melding in the new black.

The breath of an impression of becoming our stories slams into

the walls of reverence.

Our holistic avenues dug up and paved with the sting of humanity

nestled amongst the all-knowing spectacles of collusion.

I caught fireflies in my jar to light my way in the darkness of

your life put on the altar of nirvana being mocked.

A doorway to sanctity, a mind for sale, a brain to munch-a

chill, an ice cube of desire with the glint of a diamond

expiring within the melt of chivalry.

The iron backbone serves its purpose and must bend at times with

the braiding of kingdoms under the spell of ingenuity.

A meadow of feelings sway in the wind of chance during an

upheaval of scattering seeds in the face of doing same under the

umbrella of progeny.

The walls speak the smell of defeat and I ask, “Where are the

birds?” – A sign to purge.

Staining the relationship between oneness and the ego which

paints a lone canvas painting its own lone canvas caressing the

conduits of praise.

A trickle of sanity shows itself deduced by showing me the

thunder dancing with the clouds showing me something else than a

life being wasted.



Death of a soul



Death of a Soul


I ate from the dust of cosmic dawning and spat out crackling


While the light’s curiosity wanders into unknown landscapes

painted by desire,

And the vision was on fire with drooping flames of pity.

We saw you claw ferociously at the fabric of blood-soaked


We also watched your hungry sabers slice through many cups of

spilled chaos,

As we listened to the endless cesspool of human thoughts gone mad.

An anathema of esoterica ceased with a display of bruised lips

and a knock on the chin.

The dark cloak smothered the stars and my precarious birthing

took place amongst the vapors of genie lamps.

I am everyone’s star twinkling anguish over a chosen life.

I belong to the darkness within the Jaws of Life;

Bleeding the nights into pandemonium,

With masquerade shades of the moon,

And a simple silver language is spoken.

A betrayal of the essence of regeneration tumbling for a fall

and quickened into reality.

The curtain of Genesis now ripped and trying to sew itself up in


A sackcloth dissertation veiled tightly over my listless spirit

regurgitating life and experiences.

The soul of my flame begins an irreverence of dying down,

While the tongue hangs out, dripping of non-viability soured by

an innate pulse.

This is when a death of a soul occurred in the upheaval of the


A dead soul was decried in the universe and beyond non-compo

mentis comprehension.

It wasn’t the first.

It spoke of a carnal fire that speaks of lust.

And then,

A flicker was seen out of the darkness.